Vaccine Injury Is A Daily Struggle
On December 26, 2016, in my Stop Mandatory Vaccination Facebook Group I asked parents what it is like to care for their vaccine injured children. For most, it is a 24/7 365 day-a-year financially, emotionally, physically and mentally agonizing struggle, not to mention the outright debilitating effects that the child must endure. If you are on the fence about vaccinating, what you need to know more than anything is that any one shot given at any age could be the shot that maims or kills your child. It is that simple. Read what these parents struggle with, including for many the grief that their inner guidance said not to do it, but they trusted their doctor anyway. Just remember, your doctor won’t be there taking care of your vaccine injured child, and will probably deny the vaccine did it anyway. Read these stories, read more of this website, and go vaccine free – the absolute surest way to avoid vaccine injury. If you have a vaccine injured child, feel free to add what it is like to care for your child in the comment section below.
~ Larry Cook
Michelle Berrett Bodine
It’s constantly thinking ten steps ahead of every situation. Will this trigger an allergy, a sensory overload, a meltdown, a panic attack, or worse…a seizure? Do I have all the right supplies every time I leave home. The right food replacements, calming tools, sensory blockers, meds/ supplements/ essential oils to stop the seizures or the bleeding? It’s sleeping lightly for 20+ years because neurological disorders, panic attacks, bleeding disorders, seizures…don’t sleep. They don’t take a break for the holidays. It’s recognizing the other parent and child warriors, the other victims of vaccine injury, at a glance. Recognizing the awareness in their eyes, the hyperfocus, the exhaustion, the courage, the truth. It’s carrying accordion files filled with medical reports to every school or hospital visit, evidence that you aren’t making up your children’s health issues. It’s being called ignorant, uneducated, “just a parent” even though you’ve researched more in the last six months (not to mention the last 20 yrs) than any of those “professionals” likely have in their entire careers. It’s losing friends and family because we miss activities, rarely have a sitter, can’t predict our children’s health or reaction to a gathering. And because we are now labeled as crazy for calling out the truth. It’s spending those rare spare moments fighting, begging, pushing for change, hoping those around you hear your story and awaken to truth, avoiding the nightmare you’ve endured and your children have suffered.
Imagine a baby who has inconsolably, high-pitched screams from morning until night, then becomes a toddler who screams all day and all night. Imagine a baby who doesn’t make eye contact with you and who doesn’t point or doesn’t acknowledge you speaking to them. Imagine a child who never utters a word and can’t even answer yes or no. Imagine a child who needs 7 days a week of therapy just to get them to make eye contact with you. Imagine a child who injures themself by bashing their head on floors and through walls, windows, mirrors, etc. on a daily basis. Imagine a child who spends her entire life in a special education classroom, and at 21 years old, still hasn’t reached kindergarten level academics. Imagine a child who smeared herself with her own feces until she was 6 years old. Imagine a child who will never be independent, who will never have a job, will never have a friend, will never have a family of their own. Imagine a child who suffers with daily seizures, some of them so severe they could kill her.
Imagine people telling you vaccine injury isn’t real… that it’s all your imagination, and you’re just looking for something to blame your child’s disability for. Imagine not being able to work or have a life of your own because caring for your brain damaged child is your 24 hour a day, 365 day a year full time responsibility. That is what caring for a vaccine injured child is like for ME.
I don’t think words can accurately describe it. It’s grief, it’s tears, it’s joy when you see your child making some small steps of progress, it’s fights with your husband when you’re both so wore out; it’s being exhausted physically and emotionally, it’s researching constantly and tweaking this or that to help your child recover, it’s trying to hold your family together when it feels like your world has been literally ripped apart. It’s guilt when you think that you could have prevented this but didn’t know better, it’s witnessing the death of who your child was… And coming to terms with the way things are now. It’s like I lost my daughter but she is still here with us.
I spend every waking moment praying for a miracle and doing everything I can for her. It’s being on a tight budget because you’ve exhausted your savings living in survival mode for so many years. Its feeling alone and isolated because no one really understands unless they live it, it’s recognizing the brokenness in others because you feel broken too. You cry all the time. You empathize more with others. You realize what’s important. And you keep fighting every day.
Weekly therapy to teach him how to handle emotions, a constant fight every day, he hates himself, he hates life, different supplements, psychiatrists, etc. You feel like a shitty parent because sometimes you just cant do it anymore, you don’t even like him at that moment. Then you have your own emotional meltdown, forgive yourself, and try again the next day. You try and keep him separated from the other siblings because he hurts them. You are always on guard, emotionally and physically tired at all times. Praying for ways to help him. Praying that he will not end up in jail. All this started when he was a toddler and then at his 5 year shots his leg swelled up high fevers for 4-5 days. A rash over his body for almost a month and he could barely walk for a week. We were told this was normal.
It’s exhausting, even if your child isn’t one of the more severely injured ones. It’s isolating and far reaching, affecting the whole family in small and big ways that outsiders can’t even imagine. It consumes your life, but you love them more than your own breath so you keep going. And you see that each step forward and milestone met is beautiful. You cherish your child and only want health and happiness for them.
I was vaccinated for tdap and flu during my complicated pregnancy. My son had what I describe as shivers in utero for minutes. He was vaccinated at birth and since had small seizure like episodes. He has dealt with severe GERD that has him on alimentum formula as its only thing he can half way handle besides raw cow’s milk. He is 8 months old and still suffers. He is a failure to thrive child and more than likely will stay that way for life. He had seizure episodes from the vaccines at 6 months. I detox still. I am to the point I pray my little man will get better but honestly I don’t know if he will. He will always be puky always be scary. He is predispositioned for seizures from both sides anyways. I fear for my boy. I fear for all children. I enjoy my time with him but it is exhausting when nothing you do is ever the end of cleaning or helping him. Now I pray he meets every milestone so the schools can disappear.
Jeanni Tree Huggin Quinn
Vaccine injury ruined our family. It ended up being too much stress for parents to cope with and they separated. My brother suicided because he couldn’t cope living with such a debilitating illness. He tried many times before eventually passing. Other siblings always came 2nd which was hard growing up and resulted in low self esteem and broken adult relationships. And Mum did the best she could but was depressed and angry and a very controlling and had a nervous break down a few times. It’s not what you have planned when you bring your children into the world.
Dena Lightner Salera
It never ends…. You get to have poop smearing, constant screaming, crying, meltdowns. Listening to the same videos over and over and over. Opening and closing of doors, lights going on and off. Not being potty trained until age 7. Daily calls from school. Seizures. Always being worried that he’s going to get out of the house… Zero social life, zero vacations…
Chiropractor appointments, physical therapy appointments, speech therapy appointments, all once every week. Our daily regimen is probiotics, elderberry, and B complex. We also have to do grapeseed oil in EVERY bottle. If we skip grapeseed oil, even in one bottle, he screams such murderous screams. He has really bad constipation that he never had before his vaccine injury. My boy was crawling, eating table food, talking, aware and making eye contact before vaccines. Afterwards, he forgot how to sit up on his own, he forgot to eat, he slept for weeks, he forgot how to crawl, and coo. The nurses that administered the shots blew his vein. His leg was purple, and he cried for 2 hours straight. I called them and they said it was normal and blowing veins in babies’ was normal because they are so little. That night my baby started wheezing so I took him in to the ER. He was diagnosed as spastic with RSV, and bronchiolitis. We spent a week in the hospital because his O2 was 70%. I have met many other mothers who had the same shots as my boy and was also diagnosed with RSV and bronchiolitis hours later. 1 year and 4 months old. He just learned to sit up, crawl, eat table food, he makes eye contact, and he is slowly becoming the baby we knew again. I lost 2 jobs because all of my doctor’s appointments that I needed off for and because the sitters could never seem to understand how important it was to give him grapeseed oil every bottle. My husband made it possible for me to be a stay at home mom, which has helped so much with his development. We are tight on cash but it’s what is best. I just am happy my baby is alive and on the right track. This was reported to VAERS.
Adriana Forero Spiecker
Things you don’t ever think of: appointments…. pill taking reminders…. making sure you’re not eating “bad foods”….. throwing away gifted food b/c people want to love with food giving but mostly give garbage (foods w/msg, sweets/sugar, etc…..) ……. lack of fun/extra money (I didn’t put the Christmas tree up this year, what’s the point if there is no money left to get anything)….. not being able to go to the movies, go out to eat, vacation b/c all funds go towards medical costs or help in living expenses :0( ……… marriage suffer and other siblings get left behind or without basic needs.
The symptoms my oldest son was exhibiting caused so much stress on my 5 year relationship that it ended. People never understand. They blame me for how my children behave. I feel like giving up because I don’t know what to do. Hospitalizations, medications you don’t want your kids taking. Feeling so guilty for what emotional turmoil your child must be feeling. Your kids can’t just be “normal” kids and you feel robbed of a “normal” family… Etc etc. It can be hell.
That simple things are hard for my daughter! Frustrating trying to get what’s best for my daughter and keeping her healthy. Guilt ridden that I so blindly trusted when my gut was screaming don’t do it! Yet also full of love, laughs, and joy over progress and successes!
Chaos all the time, sleepless nights, meltdowns with physical harm to self and me, food battles, constant anxiety, public meltdowns (always fun), running off while screaming, etc…. Thats just some of it. But my husband and I know that our 3 boys could be worse and we love them no matter what. They’ve made us stronger, more compassionate people and we are grateful and feel very blessed despite everything.
It’s the greatest gift, the greatest Joy, the greatest grief, and the greatest burden to carry all at once. It’s the battle of a lifetime that many will never understand. It’s faith in action, it’s faith through tears, and faith through the times hope is unseen. It’s challenging and refining in ways I couldn’t imagine. It’s loving to depths I had never been. It burns a fire of righteous anger that can’t be extinguished, an anger that seeks justice, recovery, and change. It’s hard, but I do hard things, and will overcome in victory by the Grace of God. It’s the greatest honor and a privilege I wouldn’t trade for the world. A mother’s love knows no bounds.
Feelings of constant fear and regret. My daughter developed epilepsy after the MMR vaccination. I no longer sleep well. Constantly worrying about her dying of SUDEP. Last seizure she had she was inches from the steps. I wish I would have done my research. I trusted my dr.
Expensive. My twins need high doses of probiotics daily, along with several essential oils to help repair their severely damaged gut and severe allergies. Not to mention lots of organic fruits and veggies, and antibiotic/hormone free, grass fed meats, as well as while/foods based supplements to keep their immune systems boosted. One bout of sickness can turn bad fast.
Kylee Ann Brasuel
I feel the heavy burden of guilt for vaccinating my child even though I was questioning their safety and effectiveness beforehand. I am constantly wondering how different things would be had I followed my gut instinct. I have fear for my child’s future because I know that I won’t always be here to care for him. I feel shamed constantly by others who don’t understand, even my own family members. I feel emotionally and physically drained on most days. Additionally, I feel awful for his siblings who have attention taken away from them frequently because we have to tend to his needs first.
Emotionally, mentally and physically draining. It consumes my life and I honestly think we are lucky because it could have been worse. But I still wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
24-HOUR LIFELONG CARE. HUSBAND LEAVES. SIBLINGS TAKE A BACK SEAT NOT BY CHOICE BUT BY NECESSITY.
My son has sensory processing disorder, ODD, OCD, and ADHD. I can’t get help for him and don’t want to try any medications. Life is really hard, but we’re trying to make the best of it.
Elizabeth Goebel Flohrschutz
First, the fear that he would die (hospitalized for silent seizures…he just “went away”). Then trying to figure out what was wrong with him (docs act like they have not a clue). Finally figuring it out, and being so angry…angry with my pediatrician, angry with big pharma. On top of that, constant ear infections, asthma, eczema, gut imbalances, and hospitalizations because he just couldn’t breathe…he was so sick. Now, chiropractic appointments, specialty doctor appointments, physical therapy appointments (weekly). Daily regimen: probiotics, vitamin and mineral, cod liver oil, fermented foods, very little gluten or dairy. Detox baths a few times a week. No sugar or he gets sick. He used to get every single virus that went around and be soooo constipated all the time. After 2 years of detoxing and not vaxxing it has gotten so much better. Slowly but surely we are getting there. We’re building gut health and getting those toxins out.
Agonizing over money since I haven’t been able to have employment for four years! My son’s vaccine injuries have violated his ability to have a normal childhood and life. It’s violated my life, turned my entire family upside down and destroyed my marriage. My son is the victim and I am his permanent caretaker. Then what happens when I die???
Labels, labels, labels. Have to read all the labels. Food in packages is rarely without consequence. Unfortunately, two of the things my son has a severe allergy to (one is anaphylactic) are often used as “filler” in processed snacks and beverages. Food dyes lead to instant meltdowns. Ear muffs are a help, especially when driving on the highway. Routine is imperative. Going off routine can lead to meltdowns.
Eva Higdon Charles
We didn’t realize for several years that my son’s eczema, which ended up severe with a reference to the state Children’s Hospital, was due to vaccine injury. It started within weeks of his first round of shots at 2 months. He has multiple food allergies and is allergic to most of the grasses and trees in our area along with pollen, dust mites and cats. Due to the severe eczema he ended up with topical steroid use for several years. Then in order to truly heal his body, he had to go through topical steroid withdrawal which was 18 months of hell and fear at times. During that we found out he is compound heterozygous for the MTHFR gene mutation which explains his inability to detox the vaccines and the steroid withdrawal. His childhood is more normal now but time was stolen from us and he is still allergic to all those things.
Ian became Peanut allergic and diagnosed with Asthma after MMR was given at 12 mos. Our story may seem like it’s no big deal compared to others. Ian is seemingly perfect, brilliant and strong. However, we live with life threatening food allergies and asthma. Bottom line, if he accidentally ingests his “poison” he can die. We carry extra EpiPens everywhere we go. Sometimes with anaphylactic reactions though, it isn’t enough. Sometimes KIDS DIE. We live and stay close to one of the best children’s hospitals. It gives me a little comfort and piece of mind. When Ian was diagnosed, his allergist stressed to us how severe he is. She was scared for him and for us. He is not expected to outgrow this.
We have experienced grief. It is feeling better now, being 18 monthss into this. We live a new “normal” now. We are isolated from experiences that others take for granted. We can’t just go to a friend’s home for dinner. We can’t take him to the movies or just any restaurant. We carry Clorox wipes with us to wipe away nut oils and proteins.
We fed him “safe” pizza once, only it had been contaminated with nuts. He went by ambulance to the ER after I administered EpiPen. He wasn’t even 2 years old. The reaction kept coming, even after emergency meds in the ER. Thankfully, the reaction finally stopped and the fire raging inside his little body was put out. He had to take steroids for 5 days after that. Imagine a toddler on steroids. Miserable experience, but he was alive!
We have eliminated all of his allergens from our home to keep him safe – it’s the only way. We also eat his diet, otherwise we could accidentally expose him by kissing him, having dust on our clothes, etc… He has siblings who are adults. They aren’t thrilled with the no nuts, but they keep their brother safe! He doesn’t need to ever be uncomfortable by having hives on his face from a kiss on his cheek.
The anxiety of grocery shopping used to cause panic attacks. In the beginning, I was scared of everything. I used to come home with hardly anything and cried. Then I would go back and try again. Thank goodness for allergy groups on FB because those moms helped me learn so much! I could ask any questions and they all helped! We have a short list of safe brands we trust. We make almost everything ourselves and use a lot of organic. The cost of raising an allergic child is expensive. Thankfully our EpiPens are covered by insurance. At over $600 per set – that can put a strain on a family’s budget (and you must carry 2 EpiPens at all times plus have other sets for school, extra for travel, etc…). This is just one of his prescriptions because he has asthma too and they prescribed 2 different inhalers…
There is no cure for Peanut or Treenut allergy. This is something he will have for life. He may be eligible for Oral Immunotherapy in 2017. It isn’t a cure, but it will be a game changer. We won’t have to live in fear. We won’t be afraid to send him to school. We won’t be afraid to let him play with other kids. We will be driving him 3 hours one way to see the specialist who does OIT in Michigan. We will pay for the trips. Insurance will pay for the therapy. For 6-12 mos, Ian will go every week or every other week to be updosed and monitored for 4 hours. After therapy, peanuts won’t be able to kill him anymore.